yes, baby, you can drive my car. or anybody else who wants to can as well. it seems the only road i will be on for the forseeable future is the proverbial one. my license has been revoked by my neurologist, Dr. Faber, for being a repeat offender. a repeat offender of what, you might ask. of being a "bad" epileptic and running around, reaking havoc by not sticking to a prescribed regiment of anti-convulsant drugs. Now you might say, "brooke, you gave me a ride home from the show last week", or "Brooke i saw you pull up in front of the history museum", or "fuck you, i've seen you driving everywhere". "you" would be correct. notice i was penalized for being a bad epileptic. i started writing this post the day after i saw my neurologist and it is well over 2 months since then now, so my frustration of not being able to drive is way past the point of "fuck it, i'm driving!" you see, it is a game, they say your license is revoked but as to whether they actually contact the DMV and report you is another story. soooooo, after 2 days of not being able to get myself around, i say screw it and take the chance. now don't think i am out and about risking everyone's lives by getting behind the wheel. i am on a new med that is working really well for me and the chances of me flipping out while behind the wheel while on said drug, are very slim.
now lets fast forward a bit. said drugs were working, then they stopped. it is now 1:30 am on June 3rd and i am sitting at St. Lukes hospital looking like Pinhead in a surgeons cap, on a sleep deprivation order, so they can cause a seizure and track what happens in my brain. this blows healthy proportioned chunks. i have to be up here 5 to 7 days, hook up to an eeg machine, no shower, can't move further than from my bed to the chair, VIDEOTAPED the whole time, and i can't use the bathroom. a nurse brings in a bedside comode. shoot me please. there is no dignity in life. as much as we all like to pretend to be civilized and better than the plankton on the bottom of the ocean, we are not. OOHH i am so tired. i can't do anything, not even sleep. and my head hurts, and i am constipated because i can't go to the bathroom on a bedside comode with some nurse watching me. i can't run or swim. which just kills me. the alternate title of this post is better living through capitalism. i was going to praise the miracle drug Keppra, until it stopped working for me. instead i will talk about how much i love my new running shoes, Newtons. they're not really new, i have been running in them for about 7 months now, but you want to talk about a product changing your life? capitalism sucks and so does healthcare and medicine having anything to do with for profit industry, but every once in awhile it works out for me. seriously, Newtons changed everything about the way i run. i am having my fastest times and less injuries. they cured my shin splint problems. they are drugs for your feet. but in a good way.
oh, here is "Shari" at 2 in the morning to draw my blood, please excuse me a moment................
seriously, Newtons are the bomb, and they were probably developed in a lab and tested before being "prescribed" by your local running shoe store salesman. but, if they don't work for you, you can take them back and they won't cause anybody to get hurt or have a heart attack or a bad rash or whatever.
i will promise to have a much more thought out and cohesive post tomorrow that is fresh and full of insight. i just feel like ia m losing my mind right now.
and if it worked, the video is of my little atticus singing "Full Steam Ahead" by david gray. he really likes that song and he is super cute singing it.